The Vicious Circle of Loneliness & Misery

Ever wonder why you are born ? Does your life matter ? What is "Life" ? “Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.” as Woody Allen puts it.

Loneliness is a strange concept, isn't it ? Is it a state of confusion ? Is it boredom ? or is it simply the realization that you are alone. To me loneliness is the realization that the universe is functioning perfectly, yet I am somehow perfectly locked within myself. One can't explain why or what makes you feel this way. Loneliness is like an earthquake, you don't see it coming, it just hits you ... and then we all know what the after effects can be !! A thousand questions fill your mind and with each question you keep falling deeper and deeper into this abyss of nothingness. Lost, confused, alone !! All you have with you is an infinite set of questions and hazy answers. The more you think about it the more you tend to go into this subconscious state of mind ... you start losing it ... talking to yourself ... hallucinating at some point.

What is this ... why is this ? It simply doesn't have one answer. More than anything, it is people around you who make you feel this way. Sometimes it is because of discrimination or just because of neglect or how people treat you in general. When you're in your room, when you're just staring into space ... thinking about people, friends .... and you feel so out of place, like you don't belong and that your existence doesn't matter to anyone. You sometimes start feeling that people are there just to check whether you are still alive. People whom you were so close to, now, are irritated by your presence. All this thinking, all this wandering of thoughts, all these twisted toxic things leads to pain equivalent to a thousand ants biting you. Loneliness, alone, pain, realization of pain !!

You're standing still, staring into the abyss, as the world moves around you at the speed of sound. Eventually all of these feeling, which started with the realization that you are lonely ... turn into misery. "Misery is almost always the result of thinking." as Joseph Joubert says. Misery is like diabetes, it can be treated, but cannot be cured. A part of every misery is it's shadow: The fact that you are not merely miserable, but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you are miserable. I not only live each endless day in misery, but live each day thinking about living each day in misery. It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many mugs of beer you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood, and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy.

All these severe rush of emotions ... Life is like a roller-coaster ride, all you want to do is wait for it to end, even as you grab on tight and scream your lungs out. As Jim Morrison said "People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend !!"

My View Of How The F.R.I.E.N.D.S Movie Would Be Like

The name says it all...yet, this is how the Daily Mail put it ...."Finally, the film production of the most successful TV show is given a go-ahead." Oh Yeah...you got that right... F.R.I.E.N.D.S. The Movie is Coming... This was the best news I heard in the July of 2008. I was so excited, like most of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Fanatics out there. But, unfortunately a few days later reports came in saying that the movie is denied and Warner Bros. and Spokespersons of a few of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. stars declared that the whole thing was a rumor...

So I guess for now the movie is not happening ... So what !! I started imaging how the movie would be ... and the following is what I think the the movie would be about:
"I think it'll be about the gang getting back together for Ross & Rachel's wedding and how Ross & Rachel come together as a family because of little Emma. Monica and Chandler have settled down as one traditional happy family and having a fun time with their kids Jack and Erica. May be Pheobe is pregnant with twins this time and Joey, who becomes a big movie star, brings Alex (From JOEY series) along. I hope it ends with Joey and Alex getting married along with Ross & Rachel. It'll also be great to see Gunther, Jack, Judy, Carol, Susan, Ben and others have been upto. Honestly people we all have been longing to see the F.R.I.E.N.D.S Gang hang out at Central Perk again and hear Pheobe sing 'Smelly Cat' ....."

Let's hope that the movie does come out some day ... for all of us who are in love with these six amazing F.R.I.E.N.D.S ... until then everybody sing with me "Smelly Cat, Smeelllly Caat What are they feeding you ? ..."

Friendships, Feelings, Engineering & Misunderstandings

Well people, it’s not easy being a guy, and that too a guy who is sensitive and has chosen Engineering as a major. I tell you, it sure takes a lot out of you! Now I'm a person whose life totally revolves around his friends (Or that is what I'd like to believe. Lol) All this is smooth and fine till you realize that you have feelings for someone whom you've know for a really long time and until now had no clue that you were falling for her. You want to spend more time with her, and God damn you want to tell her how you feel, and you always have this fear of "What if she says NO!!" All of this somehow makes your friends feel that you don't have time for them ("Oohh ...You're NEGLECTING US !!, You're Changing, etc. are the usual remarks.)

Now things start getting a little complicated ... "Priorities" as a friend said to me ... "Set Your Priorities" (In a completely pissed off tone). Like they say "Rock, Hard place ... and Me". You are literally vacillating. Now to make matters worse comes Engineering ... It fills your life with journals, assignments, presentations, class tests and submission deadlines. So now you have time for no one. Here "Misunderstandings" make a grand entry. Your friends think that your lying when you tell them that you can't make it, and this person you have feelings for ... haha, forget it ('cos IT HURTS !! ... Lol) and then the cherry on top of this cake, Engineering, which chases you like a dog chasing a cat and this same cat chasing a mouse. The messed up part is that you end up feeling like all three of them, you are just not sure of which one exactly, a dog, a cat or a mouse ? You're in between the devil and the deep blue sea, Man !!

I tell you this man, its not easy being a guy ... It’s like Friendships, Feelings, Engineering & Misunderstandings have surrounded you ... They each have a rope around your neck and keep pulling you with equal amounts of force. You ... just don't know where to go ...

My First Post

Well, I was never really serious about blogging, but then a friend convinced me that it would be a great idea to jot down my thoughts and ideas ... share my view with people. This seemed to be a great way to share my feelings on various topics and issues. Maybe share a few secrets as well ... after all some secrets are meant to be shared ...